I scream, you scream, we all scream for....

.....Sorbet?!?!

Uh...really?

No, really. Now, I'm a bit of an ice cream connoisseur (in other words, I eat a lot of it), and I would have serious doubts that anything could rival the rich creaminess or citrussy tang of my favourite homemade ice cream - orange, clotted cream and white chocolate, for those asking. But a couple of Saturdays ago, with the sun beating on my shoulders, the heat making a sun trap of our garden, the butterflies skating about in the air, the larks...erm, larkning about....I couldn't possibly face anything bearing the description 'rich'. Not even a Texan billionaire, and I usually have a terrible soft spot for them.

I also had some slightly overripe strawberries, a full bottle of elderflower cordial, and a burning desire to prove to people that making sorbet is THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD, EVER. Actually, I'd say it goes: 1. breathing, 2. making sorbet, and 3. drawing a stick man. (Unless, of course, you're a particularly inept drawer. That's draw-er, as in someone who draws, not drawer as in something you keep your underwear in. At least I hope that's where you keep your underwear, you saucy thing.)

But I digress. Well actually, of course I digress. I mean, you have met me/read my blog, haven't you? You do know that it's entirely impossible for me to get straight to the point and not be distracted by some passing whimsy. Oh look! Some passing whimsy! (This is possibly why I had to stop my driving lessons, but that's another story for another day.)

Yes! So, cooking and that. I'm going to say one more time how MEGA SIMPLE this is, but the hugely pleasing upshot of the whole bally* thing is that every single one of your friends will go 'ooooooooh, sorbet! Gosh, you must be awfully clever to make that. You're ever so clever and talented and beautiful'. I'll just mention here that a) if they don't say this, then don't come back to me for any refunds. Although I could probably give you an elderflower or something, and b) if you're a man just substitute 'beautiful' for 'handsome'. Unless you are a very beautiful man. And if you ARE a very beautiful man and you're also reading my blog, then hello, future husband.

*I need to apologise/explain the use of 'bally' here, for the first time in possibly 50 years. I've been reading much too much P.G. Wodehouse lately, and just spend my days looking for ways to shoehorn funny words into sentences. Next week: Shakespeare funny words; 'zounds', 'p'shaw' and 'god's bodkin'. See you there.


What? Oh, right, right, the recipe. Well, if I must.

Ingredients

250g strawberries
125g caster sugar
75ml elderflower cordial
50ml water
Half a lemon

This recipe is slightly bastardised from one of Nigel Slater's (as the actress said to the bishop. Yes, I'm all about the topical and cutting edge humour today.) But....well, his sounded a bit bloody awful. Sorry Nige. I find you terribly endearing and that. What he was proposing was sorbet and then SYRUP on top. WHAT???? My teeth are already aching at the hideous sweetness of it all. So I actually sort of made this version up.

Method

1. I actually feel like I'm insulting you with this recipe. Just put the sugar, cordial and water in a pan.

2. Bring it to the boil and just let it thicken. Don't go crazy, just let it thicken up a little bit.

3. Rinse and hull the strawbs. Put them in a blender. Blend them.

4. Cut the lemon in half, and squeeze it into the strawberries. Blend them a little bit more.

5. Just combine the strawbs and the syrup. Mix it.

6. Gosh, well this is awkward....that's kind of it. Just put it in a suitable container, pop it in the freezer and stir it every few hours to stop those beastly ice crystals forming.




We're done here. We're so done.

(Add a few sprigs of mint or redcurrants to jazz it up, if you're feeling guilty at how easy it all was)

Sink me! My first brush with a soufflé

My little iPhone calendar thingy says 'June'. I have a little giggle to myself, because Steve Jobs' technology has clearly gone madly and horrifically wrong. Looked outside recently, little iPhone? No, clearly not. Because anyone with even half a sense of perception can see it's obviously October. So, a Saturday afternoon on a schizophrenic day that is half gorgeous sunshine and half bonfires and drizzle. This presented me with quite a quandary about what to bake, as clearly neither a bright and breezy pavlova OR berry-based spicy confection would fly at all.

I scanned the bookcase groaning under the weight of a myriad cookery books, my eyes flicking along until I saw the woefully underused Green and Black's 'Ultimate Chocolate Recipes - The New Collection'. Now, who am I to argue with something calling itself the 'Ultimate'? I actually very rarely fancy chocolate, but today was one of those rare occasions. It took me a while to locate the recipe I wanted, but once I spotted the right one, I knew. Deep in my heart, I knew that this was the cake I had to make. 'Chocolate and chestnut soufflé cake'. It seemed perfect - a bit of Autumn in there, with that chestnut (not to mention that I've long coveted those little tins of chestnut pureé in Waitrose), but light enough with the soufflé element.

Don't be scared. This was my first ever soufflé, and it went perfectly. It can for you too.

Green & Black's Chocolate and Chestnut Soufflé Cake

Ingredients
25g soft unsalted butter
125g unsalted butter
125g dark (70% cocoa solids) chocolate, broken into pieces
A pinch of salt
250g can Clement Faugier vanilla chestnut spread (Waitrose stocks this!)
100ml semi-skimmed milk
3 large free-range eggs
75g caster sugar
Good-quality cocoa powder, for dusting
Creme fraiche, to serve

1. Preheat the oven to 160 degrees C/gas mark 3. Does anyone actually use the gas mark thingy? I might just stop putting it in. Anyway, smear a 20cm tin with butter (with a removable base if you have that luxury). Line it with parchment paper. I personally put the tin ON the paper, trace a line round it in pencil, then cut to size. If you're super cautious, you can put this tin on a baking tray too.

2. Melt the chopped butter and chocolate in a heatproof bowl, over a pan of simmering water. Add a pinch of salt and stir from time to time. Once smoother and darker than the chest of a Chippendale, take off the heat and set aside.

3. Meanwhile, in a universe far, far away...heat up the chestnut puree with milk in a separate pan. I'd tell you to take it out of the can first, but you're a clever bunny, aren't you? Stir until smooth again...I already used the Chippendale joke didn't I?

4. Separate eggs and yolks, and whisk the yolks and sugar in a bowl.

5. Pour the chestnut mixture into the chocolate, and make sure you stir it well. Stir it until you think you’re done, then stir it one more time. Make a wish if you have to.

6. Stir it into the egg yolks, and mix to make a smooth batter. Yes, this recipe is sponsored by the words ‘stir’ and ‘smooth’.

7. In a new bowl (by this time your kitchen should look like a bomb hit it), whisk the egg whites into stiff peaks. You have to test this in the traditional way – pick the bowl up, turn it upside down, and lift it over your head. If it all goes wrong, egg whites make an amazing hair mask, so don’t worry.

8. Now for the chance-y bit. Use a metal spoon to stir in one spoonful of egg white into the chocolate mixture. Fold in, gently.

9. Bit by bit, stir the rest of the egg whites in, folding lightly. You’ll need to make sure it’s properly mixed, but just don’t stir too vigorously.

10. Pour the mixture into the tin, then pop into the oven for 25 minutes. It’ll rise, go a bit wobbly in the middle, then sink towards the end, as cracks start to appear - like Cheryl Cole’s career.

11. Take it out, leave it to cool, then slide it out of the tin. I left the parchment paper on, to give it a little support, but you can peel this away. It’s very satisfying.

12. Cover with clingfilm for 2 hours, then dust with cocoa powder, and serve with a little cocoa powder.

And, you’ve survived your first ever soufflé. Celebrate by eating it.  xoxo Diamond Doll

Backstreet's back....ALRIGHT

I'm back! I've been terribly lame at actually doing my beloved blog of late, and having just signed in after an EXTREMELY long absence, I've seen you wonderful, beautiful darlings are still reading! Thank you!

So here's the thing. It's my birthday this week, and for the first time ever, I'm going to make my own cake. See below for inspiration/cake porn.

Here's what I'll be making (and subsequently blogging): French Fancies, raspberry swirl meringues (sssh, they're secretly marshmellowy clouds), pink champagne and raspberry jellies, more cupcakes, and of course, a huge and disgustingly creamy, pink and sweet birthday cake.

Later this week, I'll do recipes and pictures for hopefully all of the above, so keep your eyes peeled, and good things will come your way!